I am the Penguin King. Matthews Blog - My Life

 
Matthews Blog - My Life
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My name is Matthew Neil Goodwin, some of you may also know of my other last name Coppick, this is about the points in my life that are bad and good, this may shock, upset or motivate you, but remember the reason I wrote this, this is not to gain attention, nor to cause issues for others, this is to raise awerness of what is happening to thousands of others in this world, and to let people know who are going through similar situations that they are not alone, hope you enjoy the read, please feel free to add your thoughts or contact me by looking on the

 

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 at the age of 3 and a half years old, I was put into care and stayed in the care system for over 15 years, I was in a foster placement for 7 and a half years with amazing foster carers called Juilie and John Diamond, they had two kids, called Ross Diamond and Kerry Diamond, i was there since I was put into care until the age of 10, the placement broke down due to my behaviour and i kept running away, causing my foster carers to be upset and afraid for my well being and they couldn't handle me anymore.

 

 

 

 The reason I was put into care was my real mum did not know how to care for me, she struggled a lot and was drinking and smoking, even whilst she was pregnant with me, she got with a man called Keith who used to beat me, they never really fed me and used to send me to bed after school with no food or water, very rarely i will get beans to eat and a small glass of water.

When I did something wrong once, though it was accidental, my step dad through me across the room and it bruised my back and legs and i also hit my head which i still have lumps from today, at 2 and a half years old, my mum and Keith and me went out, on the way back they got into a Blue mini bus, which crashed, the driver was only 16 years of age and was drunk, my mum was severly injured, I was found by a lady, I was walking down ahe main road, she picked me up and took me back to the scene of the crash into the care of the paramedics and police, after all this I was assessed by the Social services and they found bruises all over me which then led to me being taken into care.

I was not able to talk properly until the age of 6 due to not being taught or let out of the house apart from some  Nursery

 At the age of 14, I found my first true love called Stacey, she was an amazing beautiful girl and was very plesent to be around, to this day me and her talk from time to time.

at the age of 15 I was sexually assaulted by a man

 

 

In a train station, I still to this day feel it was my fault as I ran away from my care home, if I didnt do this, this would not of happened.

at the age of 16 and a half I fell out with Stacey and started self-harming, a lot of people think this a coping mechanism, but it's not, you are harming yourself and your future, so please  do not do  this,  you will regret it for the rest of  your  life.

 

 

 

I met my gorgeous ex fiancée Sammie in 2010  , who I had a son with who was born on the 10th of March 2012 called  Kian Gordon Joseph Halliday, but on the 19th of August 2013, Sammie passed away of a brain aneurysm, I was so upset, it nearly killed me, I suffered from severe depression, my good friends Jeremy and Angila took Brillianrt care of me, as well as other friends like steve H.


 

 

 

 

 

About me

 

 

 

  I'm an easy going guy and I love to make people smile and laugh, to make people feel happy makes me feel happy, I love to share my love and cariness for others, as a lot of people out there don't have this, so I do it mostly at whatever cost.

 

 

 

 
I do not really have a family anymore, my foster parents hardly want to know me anymore, though i used to try fight for them back in my life, it  looks like...  they forgot about me.

My Past:

 

 

 

 

I used to get into trouble a lot in the past,  this was due to,  misleading,  misguidence, wrong piers, but once I left care I turned myself around and haven't had any trouble since, I have a few mates in the police now, and door staff/ Night Marshals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things to remember

Life is not bad, it's just what you make of it, and you don't need money to have a good life.

 

 

 

 

Don't take things for Granted, as it will all come back on you, use money wisely, spare money can always go to charity or be good for birthdays and Christmas

 

 

 

 

Look after your body, I suffer from depression I struggle to look after myself, as I just couldn't bare my life, and where did that get me, nowhere.

 

 

 

 

On the 19th of august, Sammie, my Fiancée Passed away, she suffered from a sudden death Brain Aneurysm, which for those of you who don't know what it is, it is a blood clot to the brain, nobody knew that she had this but apparently she had it for years, I last seen my son on the 18th of August, the reason for this is because all her Family went against me for no reason what so ever, it hurts but I have to keep going.

 

 

 

 

When she died I was heartbroken, and truthfully I still am, what worries me the most is Kian is without his mum, I miss Sammie, I cry every day and night as I want her back so much, it's killing me, since her Death my health has deteriorated, I now suffer from Depression and I have a muscular dysfunction, I just want my old life back.

 


I once got talking to a girl called Lucy, and she helped me through a lot of shit when Sammie died, and we got together, but as of my clinginess,, I lost her, I got like this as didn't want to lose anyone else in my life, one things for sure, I really did fall for her, she was everything and more, she shown she cared, and loved, she was mature, a great laugh and amazing person, glad to of had her in my life. on the 20th november 2017 I lost my Grandad Stan Goodwin, he was an amazing man and helped me through so much, when i was just a child i lost contact with him due to past care system and wasnt aloud to see him, but i pursued to get him back into my life, i loved him with all my heart and he meant everything to me, he was just so wonderful, had an amazing smile, an amazing personality, always wanted to help people in need, he meant everything and was one of the key members in my family, I miss you Grandad. in August 2018 I was attacked by a guy from my ex Fiances (Sammie) side of the family, I was sat outside my house and without warning he came onto our pathway and punched me straight in the face and then ran, the Police are basically just giving him a slap on the rist and thats it, this is what our sociaty has come to, and I guerentee, if he did this to a woman, they would treat it more severly, I am not sexist, how ever it is wrong to judge people by gender, or punish people by gender, but this is what our goverment is getting to.



on the 8th december 2020 I had an operation,  I had a full all  mouth teeth extraction, this was a lasst resort, my teeth broke and got holes so easily, i was always in pain and couldn't cope much longer, now i can even eat Chocolate, yay!

on the  1st of june i split up with my ex partner this was due to i tried to look out for my friend, she was attacked by her boyfriend physically, and the police was involved, i wanted to comfort her, so she asked if she can come to mine i said sure for an hour, i openly told my partner this, instantly she left me, almost like she was waiting for it, later on, she decided to call the police on me, this was for herassment, Controlling and cohersive behaviour and other things, she had me arrested and I had all my electronic equipment taken off me, they raided my house and basically left me with nothing, I gave the police all the evidence to prove otherwise, to prove my innocence, I was always looking out for her, always wanting to be there for her, I was proud of who she was becoming, as when I first met her, she was already going through a hard time. I forgave her for so many things, cheating on me several times, even with people i thought was friends, almost like brothers. I later found out she got with someone else and was already pregnant with him, that basically said to me, that is 7 years of my life wasted I guess. Me now, i'm just trying to live me life to the fullest, despite being poor as hell, despite my depression and anxiety, I just keep trying to go forwards, i don't want to be stuck on repeat, and you can't rewind, so you just go forwards in life.






 

Things i suffer from


Anxiety
Muscle Disfunction
Depression
Panic attacks
ADHD
Dyslexia

 

Things i like to do

 


I play xbox and pc

I also play mobile games such as clash of kings, State of Survival, these are strategy based games.

I love walking and cycling in the country 

 

 

Mentions



Dean: Dean is my longest and most loyal friend,  we  never have had an arguement, have never fought and in a weird way we are quite alike, we  met in a college called  LDJ  back  when I was around  14 years old, he was a teachers  assistant, been friends  ever since  then.


Geordie Steve: another guy who’s been there for me since I came to Harrogate, such a good guy and we have some good laughs to, he's the other dad to my cats.


Kirsty
: when Sammie past away Kirsty pretty much lived with me to keep me sane and happy, she is an amazing girl, i have so much time for her

katherine: one of the most amazing girls i know, she's like a sister to me, we have our ups and downs, but we always bounce back, she's always been there for me regardless of exs on either of our sides, I try be the best person i can be with her, as she does mean a lot to me, more than most of my friends, this is due to the fact she is also very vunrable, and easily influanced, so i feel a dedication to be there for her and to protect her as much as possible, any guy who gets to marry this woman, do not let go, shes a diamond. 

 

 

Natalie: This lady deserves a medal for putting up with me, she is my neighbour who I see as a mother figure, since moving into the building she has been there for me and helped me through so much.

Alicia: Well what can i say, an amazing woman who is going through a lot, she has a beautiful young son and is a wonderful mum to him, she is very sweet and kind and effectionate, she always makes me smile and laugh.

 

Brad: My best mate and I adopt him as my bro, he's one of the best dudes I know and means a lot to me, he can be a fool at times but he knows how to make me laugh and smile.

Kenny Woods: Well Kenny is a gaming friend from Clash of Kings, he is my king in 1147 and he has a lot of respect from me, he is a respectful intellegent man and I look up to him.

Nick: Another gaming buddy of mine, he's epic and funny, and always there for me when i need him.


Lady Sash: she is another gaming friend I have made, we get on well and is such a lovely person to talk to, helped me through some bad times

Rhiannon:
Rhiannon is an amazing girl I have known for 8 years, she also is my ex boss but is shortly leaving to progress her studies and career, however i really don't want her to leave as she has really helped me progress, mentally, physically, and mad me feel like i am actually worth something, we treat each other like brother and sister, I can understand why she is leaving, as i experiance how hard it is to work for scope, however she is a very very good manager, and to have someone like that to go, well thats like having a back but no back bone, she is an amazing friend and tries her best to keep me happy, love her to be honest, shes all you need in a friend.. to be honest i got home and went to tears, fearing i won't be able to talk to her much anymore.


Caroline: My ex boss, she is an amazing hard working woman, and does a lot for the Scope charity, she is now going to be the only reason i am staying in this job, she has progressed me so much and her work is outstanding, i have a close bond with her, if it wasn't for her, I would not even of started at scope.

Kai: Kai is a great guy and like a brother to me, although he is dating my ex, I don't mind it, many people will judge this but i see it as, as long as they are both happy I am good with it.

Kelsie:
 Kelsie is an amazing girl who is a good friend of mine and louises, shes decent and is an all round good girl to be around.

Brad: he is like a bro to me, pretty much have the same personality and stuff, legend.

Linda & Trish: My sisters from other MR's, you two are amazin and help me keep sane, greatful for all you have done for me


Lewis: bro your a legend, supported me through so much stuff, I  don't know how you can cope with me

Stacey: although your my ex, you know me more than Most, and you always know how to pick me  up when I feel down.

Richard: Hahaha, Mcdonalds bouncing was fun.....

Ayecha: My amazing friend, in the short time we have known each other, you have helped me through a lot of issues, for that I'm Greatful.


Alisha: She is an amazing, beautiful person, and we have always been there for one another.

Wicked: aka mama bear, she was an amazing woman who was going through so much, she still had time to help me, i recently did some wrong things and me and her have had a really bad arguement, i still have respect for her regardless, as it was my wrong doing.

ClickTock2020:  A sound guy I met on an app called TIKTOK, he's gone through lots of stuff, and I have a lot of respect for this guy, people with TIKTOK go follow him.

Isabella:
This girl is one in a million, met her throuugh Discord, shes a good friendly girl and just really nice to speak to, we can have harmless banter to, its great.

Scott: My brother from another mother, he's a good guy with many difficulties, he's someone who has helped me through a lot over the years, (Around 10) and has always been backing me up.

Danielle:  another great friend of mine, shes amazing to talk to and always gives me a sense of purpose and hope. 

Graham: He is just like scott, a fellow gamer and a great friend who is always there for you 

Sam: is an amazing friend of mine who can always put a smile on my face and has helped me through a lot recently, keeps me going and gets me out of the house a lot and to be honest makes me feel better in myself.

John: John is a gamer friend of mine, we have similar interests and he is always good fun to game with.





My adopted Family: Scott, Sue and micheal, they accepted me into there lives after all i've been through, i couldn't ask for a better family.

Ercrom: A streamer friend of mine and scotts, hes a great guy and loves to make people laugh and have a good time, a great artist and musician to

Scorps: Another gamer friend on pc, we like to play C&C, age of empires and some others.


My Amazon Wishlist: 
www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/3FGUYVWYCYZ42

 

If you feel you should be mentioned please contact me via details on the Home page



 

 

 

  

 

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